Hey, Green Junkie!
The other day I posted this quote on Instagram.
“Don’t feel guilty when you forget your bags or coffee
mug or water bottle or buy something fast fashion.”
In my attempt to help my community feel less guilty about not being perfect in their sustainable lifestyles, I hit a nerve.
I got messages and comments that were appalled at my message and couldn’t believe I wouldn’t WANT people to feel guilt or shame about not making green choices all the time. They couldn’t believe I wouldn’t want to use guilt as a motivator to make people take action.
And sorry, not sorry, this is just NOT how I operate.
I’ve been on both sides of this issue and I truly don’t believe that guilt or shame is an effective tool or motivator for change. It just causes harm.
So in today’s episode I wanted to address this and share my side of the story and encourage you to give up the guilt and shame and be green without all the guilt.
In this episode we will discuss,
- The comments that sparked this episode
- What research says about guilt
- How to live a green lifestyle without all the guilt and shame
You’ll discover that and so much more in this episode.
By the end of this episode, Green Junkie, you’ll be able to confidently live more green without the fear of failure. None of us are perfect, embrace and celebrate what you can do and leave the rest.
If you love this podcast be sure to leave a review and share a screenshot of this episode to your IG stories. Tag @greenjunkiepodcast so I can shout you out and publicly say thanks.
Thanks for listening and being here.
Your green bestie,
Xoxo Stephanie
Previous Episodes Mentioned:
Episode # 25: Sustainable Packing with Cory Connors
Episode #26: Stop Using Dryer Sheets
Sources
https://www.oprah.com/world/eco-guilt-feeling-bad-about-not-being-green
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ecoguilt
https://www.fashionroundtable.co.uk/news/eco-guilt-environmental-change
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Produced by: Alecia Harris
Music By: Liz Fohle
Listen Below
Transcript for Episode 27
0:08
Hi, Green Junkie, I'm your host, Stephanie Moram. And today we're talking about eco- guilt. It seems like a pretty hot topic, and one that I'm very familiar with, as I've experienced lots of eco guilt on my sustainability journey. Before we get started, please remember to subscribe to my green junkie podcast on whatever platform you use.
0:28
So what is eco guilt? According to the Urban Dictionary, it describes eco guilt as “the feeling you get when you could have done something for the environment, but consciously made the decision not to.” For me, it also means the feeling you get when you could have done something to help the environment, but didn't know how to make a better choice. You didn't know where to look for that eco friendly product. Sometimes I personally want to make the conscious and eco friendly choice, but I don't know how to do better. So I'll research and sometimes I end up feeling completely paralyzed with guilt. And I say, eff it, and the guilt rushes in.
1:15
I can't be the only one when you're traveling, you really, really want to compost while you're traveling. But you don't have a means to do it. Wherever you're traveling, they do not offer composting, so you don't compost. But a lot of people, perhaps you will feel guilty because you can't compost while you're traveling. But it's not your fault.
1:39
So after reading article after article about eco guilt, you can take a look at my show notes for the different resources. Many professionals say it's normal to feel guilty that to some degree guilt motivates people to take action, it helps to maintain social norms, and we shouldn't strive to be guilt free. While I do agree that guilt can be a driving force to make change, I also feel like there is a fine line. While you might find this emotion motivational and it's sparking a passion in you to do more for the environment to do more for the planet, to live that eco conscious, eco friendly lifestyle, others may start to feel a sense of shame, consider themselves a bad person for not already doing that.
2:27
So an example could be someone could be super motivated, because they feel guilty and they end up composting. But then you have another person who forgets to bring their coffee mug to the coffee shop because they spontaneously decided to get a coffee. And all they're feeling was guilt, because they took a disposable cup. While I am always going to advocate to have your reusables in your car with you, life happens. And sometimes we forget things. And it's okay if you forgot your reusable mug and you want a coffee or a tea and you take a disposable one, 1 out of 100 times – and I think that is the difference.
2:27
So I posted this quote on Instagram not that long ago. And this is what kind of sparked this topic for my podcast this week. I posted “Don't feel guilty when you forget your bags, or your water bottle or buy something fast fashion. Just think of the times you remember those items, or that you bought from ethical brands. You got this. You don't have to be so hard on yourself.”
3:46
When I posted this on Instagram, I did get a handful of people that totally did not agree with me at all. They said that we should feel guilty when we don't protect the environment. We should feel guilty when we shop fast fashion and we forget our mug or a reusable water bottle. And I really, really do not agree with that at all. I know what it's like to live with eco guilt.
4:13
You can ask my husband how fun that was for him during that period when I was continuously feeling guilty for doing things that I knew wasn't benefiting the environment. Feeling guilty that I didn't always have my reusable mug, feeling guilty that I forgot my reusable bag. And I would leave the grocery store and make like four trips with my groceries in my hands. My husband did not love that. He was like “really? Can we just grab a bag?” I was like, “No, we're not grabbing a bag.” I've lived with that eco guilt. It's not fun. Like I said, you can ask my husband how that went. It wasn't awesome.
4:55
I just don't agree because what is being accomplished? When we're all walking around feeling guilty and shame, for not doing everything, for not doing everything perfect. And to be honest, I would prefer that 1000s of people make efforts to bring their reusable mugs as much as possible. I would rather and prefer 1000 people bring their bags and sometimes forget it, then just a handful or five people remember to bring the reusables with them. Or I would rather 1000 people compost most of the time, then three people do it perfectly. And what is perfect anyway, that's probably another topic for a whole other podcast episode, like what is being perfect. Is it living a green perfect life because it doesn't exist. Like it doesn't exist.
5:48
I've used this example a lot. I eat a vegan diet on and off for the last 11 years. And when I say on and off just a side note, I went back to eating eggs for a while. And I remember following a lot of activists in that space, a lot of vegan activists, and there was that really extreme amount of people that were like, if you eat meat, you're like the worst person on the planet. And again, at that point, I didn't agree with that. And the reason I did it was because if somebody eats meat every meal, seven days a week, and then they make the decision to reduce the amount of meat that they're eating, and now they're only eating meat at one or two meals a day – isn't that a win for the vegan community? I mean, it is in my eyes because less animals are being harmed. Is it perfect? No. Would I rather that people didn't eat meat? Yes, absolutely. But me shaming people into a vegan diet and making them feel like crap because they eat meat, it's not going to get them to reduce their consumption of meat.
6:55
And this is an example I share with so many people, because it just illustrates that no one is going to eat a vegan diet, when I'm rude to them, when I'm shaming them, and when I'm making them feel like crap. But if I embrace them, and help them and show them the way, they're more likely to get on board. And I feel the exact same way when it comes with the sustainable lifestyle. When it comes to green living. When it comes to the environment, we can either take someone by the hand and show them what we have done, or we can make them feel guilty, we can shame them. And then they can internalize all that guilt and feel like crap and say, well, this isn't pleasant. I'm just not going to do anything.
7:42
And some of you listening might totally disagree with me. And that is okay. This is my perspective on this because I've been the person that has shamed people in the green space. And I have been the person that's been shamed and made to feel guilty. So I see both sides. I was that person, that would be like, did you know that you can recycle that? Did you know that? Blah, blah, blah. Did you know that can be composted? In that snarky voice. Do you think anybody really wanted to compost when I was snarky like that? Or learn how to recycle properly when I was snarky? Absolutely not. I wasn't pushing the needle forward, to help that person, live a more green lifestyle. But if I educate or you educate someone, and like I said, you hold not necessarily hold their hand, but you show them that it doesn't have to be super difficult. And it doesn't have to be perfect, and you can take small steps forward to live a green lifestyle, be gentle on yourself, people will make change. I was that person that when I decided to live a green lifestyle, then I got rid of everything. I was like, that's toxic, that's toxic. I'm not using plastic anymore. I'm not using those products anymore. I'm only eating organic. I did a 180 with our lifestyle, but the average person will not do that. So I can't expect other people to do that. And I will never expect anyone to live the same lifestyle that I do. I can be really, really hardcore, dark green, really hardcore. And then there's like that 5% That's kind of like the mint green where I'm just like, “Well, today, I didn't do XYZ.”
9:19
I just think that we have to be gentle on ourselves, and gentle and others and we're all doing the best that we can. And to say that people should feel guilty because they forgot the reusable mug or that they bought fast fashion. I think we need to drop the word should first of all. I just really truly believe that change happens when we educate and show people how we live our lifestyle versus making them feel guilty or shaming them.
9:59
So instead of guilting each other about our diets, I talked about the vegan diet, or personal carbon footprint. Let's have a look around, like, let's look around and see all the positive things we're doing to make a change. What positive thing have you done today? Did you actually remember your reusable mug? That's a win. That is a win. And you should high five yourself, because 12 years ago, I didn't remember my reusable mug. And now, I do not leave my house without it. Because I know there's a chance I might want a tea. I'm always thinking of what if moments. You will get there? Maybe you won't, maybe you will. But we have to remember, we're all on a different journey. And maybe you're starting now, where I was 12 years ago. And I applaud you for starting your journey.
10:51
So again, let's have a look around and see all the positive things that we're doing to make change. How about we challenged brands and corporations and demand that they make change? Why does everything have to fall on our backs? Why can't a coffee shop put in a program of reusable mugs instead of I don't know – just giving out disposable ones. There are programs I've seen them. I've seen coffee shops, where you pay $1 or $2 for that reusable mug. And if you don't bring it back, you lose it. Let's challenge companies and corporations and restaurants to make change instead of everything falling on our shoulders as consumers. But keep using that reusable mug. Please keep using that reusable bag. Keep it beside the door, your reusable bag so you don't forget it. But how about let's do a protest. Let's reach out to government officials and support small sustainable organizations and brands and companies that are making real change.
11:50
Let's drop the Eco guilt. We're all doing the best we can. You got this, you're doing a great job. It's time to rid the sustainability movement of guilt altogether. And just be really, really proud of what we're achieving right now. For more green living inspiration, you can listen to my latest episode, including Episode 26: Stop using Dryer Sheets, which is a short and sweet episode. Episode 25: Sustainable Packaging with Corey Connors and Episode 24: What is greenwashing?
12:26
Stay connected with me on Instagram @greenjunkiepodcast. And don't forget to subscribe to the Green Junkie Podcast on the platform you're listening on. If you're curious about zero waste, living sustainable fashion, or wondering how to read food and cleaning product labels, I've got you covered. For direct access to me your green living expert, click the link in the show notes where you can ask me questions and get a customized plan and how you can live a greener life. You can hop on a one on one call with me or ask me your questions via email or have a conversation on Voxer which is a web based app. I will be your personal Green Google and you can pick my brain. Thank you for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday Green Junkie.
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